The Care and Keeping of Mommy

This desire to keep things steady and consistent is rooted in the idea of routines being inherently calming to our minds. We know that our brains are hard wired for predictability and are more readily soothed when we can anticipate what’s coming. This opens the door for greater emotional regulation and increased resiliency. It’s particularly true during times of turmoil and distress – the more things stay the same, the easier it is to tolerate the things that are different. It’s a version of Piaget’s assimilation and accommodation.

As I was preparing for my time off, I had these ideas about routine at the forefront of my thinking. I focused almost exclusively on working to keep the girls’ lives as consistent as possible, which includes having them see their mom as strong and capable. I was concerned though, because I knew I was not going to be myself…And then I realized that there is just as much value in having them see me as needing help, as being vulnerable – things that I don’t show them very often, or ever…

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